women

Little Clit, Big Labia

I find it interesting when different lovers have told me the same strange things about me or my body. It’s usually in comparison to other lovers they have had, though none of their comparisons are done in a mean-spirited way. They’re merely statements of facts. Since heterosexual women don’t often make comparisons about each other sexually, one of the few ways of finding out about oneself in comparison to women is through lovers’ other sexual experiences.

The most common comment I get from men is that I have a little clit and big labia. Having recently Googled images of women’s genitalia, I have to agree that my labia minora are proportionately much larger than my labia majora. I don’t think they have always been as large as they are; I think they grew substantially during pregnancy. However, my kids’ dad never said anything about the changes. He was the kind of guy who probably didn’t even notice. Since I wasn’t ever looking at my genitals in a mirror earlier in my life, I really don’t know for sure when my labia grew, but I know they weren’t always as large as they are now.

As for my clitoris, I was surprised when men started telling me how tiny it was. At first, I chalked it up to the perpetual social folklore that men can’t find clits. Joke after joke plays on this idea. However, most men I have been with take the time to stop the action when they can’t easily find mine and because they do want to locate it. Once they’ve turned on some lights and made a detailed examination, I almost always get the comment, “Wow! Your clit is tiny!” My general response to that is, “It may be small, but it works quite well!” and all of my partners have to agree with that after experiencing my orgasms. Given how many times I’ve heard that my clit is small, I have to believe it’s true, though I really can’t tell any difference between my clit and the pictures of most I see online.

There’s also no question to me that I’m loud during sex. I’ve actually screamed my throat raw during sex because my orgasms are so strong. It never fails that after our first time together, men who have met me through OkCupid bring up my answer to the question about whether or not I’m louder than others during sex which I have answered in the affirmative. They always say, “Um, yeah. You are definitely louder than most women.” I’m often labeled as the loudest woman they’ve ever been with. For most of them, that’s a huge turn on.

Finally, I’ve received a compliment several times about how comfortable I am with myself and my body. Most of the men I’ve had sex with in my forties realize that the more comfortable a woman is with her body, the better the sex will be for her and thus for him. They all really appreciate that I’m not afraid to have sex with the lights on or to wear skimpy lingerie for them. They love my ability and desire to explore. They all agree that the men who have turned me down just because I’m not a size 2 are losing out in a big way. It’s not the shape of a woman’s body that matters. It’s how she feels about using it for sexual pleasure.

©2018 WoodLeatherLace.com

Orgasmic Noises

This recent article on CNN.com about why women make noises during sex really pissed me off. The highlights:

  • “‘While female orgasms were most commonly experienced during foreplay, copulatory vocalizations were reported to be made most often before and simultaneously with male ejaculation.'”
  • “Women also reported making noise to relieve boredom, fatigue and pain/discomfort during sex.”
  • “Vocalizing during sex can actually be a great tool to help women get what they want in bed…. ‘Use vocalization to teach your partner what feels good. It can help you say, ‘stop, go, yes, more please,’ without sounding like a traffic cop.'”
  • “‘I think there are many women who need to be vocal to help themselves achieve orgasm. It helps move them and their orgasm along. There are certainly phases. As a woman gets into it, she may become extremely vocal and then move into a period of quiet as she is on the verge.'”

You know what’s missing in the article? Completely missing? Women making noise because they are so overwhelmed by pleasure that they can’t help but vocalize as a release. Why the hell isn’t that discussed? Why can’t the author of the article and those the author quotes see that some women scream with pleasure because they can’t contain how powerful their orgasms are? Why are women’s sexual pleasure and orgasms seen as things that are difficult to achieve rather than something completely normal?

Seriously, we need to do massive work on how society views women’s pleasure during sex.

©2018 WoodLeatherLace.com

Women Spanking Women

Someone on Fetlife asked me a great question: “You post many pictures of women spanking women even though you list yourself as straight. Have you ever spanked or been spanked by another woman?”

The short answer to this is no, not as an adult. The long answer is more complicated.

I am definitely straight. I’ve been looking for a gay bone in my body for the past 15 years with no success. I would love to be able to widen my dating field to include women, but I have never met a woman I have felt sexually attracted to. It’s just not there for me. I wish it was. I watched a tv series many years ago called Bob and Rose. It’s about a man who is 100% gay until he meets and falls in love with a woman. He feels no attraction to any other women. Just her. Can I say that it’s impossible for that to happen to me, too? No. Maybe someday I will meet a woman who triggers a sexual response in me. So far, though, I haven’t.

Yet when it comes to spanking, I am attracted to some female spankers. I think this is psychological more than sexual. My best guess is that it is a result of not having had a loving mother growing up. She didn’t want me and didn’t love me. She is seriously mentally ill. She is exactly what no one would want for a mother. So the idea of a loving mother who disciplined from a place of caring rather than violence is attractive to me on a fantasy level.

In addition, I like strong women. I appreciate women who don’t let themselves cornered into being a weak person by society’s idea of what women “should” be. I like my men the same way. The most attractive people to me are ones who can take control of a situation. A strong female or male spanker certainly fits that model!

However, I’m not sure I’d ever seek to fulfill the fantasy of a female disciplinarian because as an adult, spanking is inherently sexual to me. The only way I could see it happening is if I had a female disciplinarian spank me with my male partner watching. She would leave after the spanking so he could give me aftercare including sex. I shared this fantasy with a previous partner who wasn’t really open to what I wanted. He wanted his version of the fantasy which included turning the whole thing into a threesome. I have absolutely no interest in a threesome (whereas he has a fetish for it), so the fantasy wasn’t something that would have ever happened with him.

When I read spanking fiction or look at spanking art, my preference is: 1) M/F  2) F/F 3) F/M 4) M/M. For me, it’s the subordinate female that is the important part of the scenario. When I watch spanking videos, I generally only watch M/F or F/F. Sometimes I will watch F/M, but I almost never watch M/M. Watching men get spanked really doesn’t turn me on at all.

So as an adult, no, I have never been spanked by a woman nor do I have any real desire to spank a woman. I’m a sub, so I prefer to be spanked rather than do the spanking.

©2017 WoodLeatherLace.com