judgment of women

Suspended for a Hickey?

There’s a tweet that has been floating around this week that made my jaw drop:

I just got suspended from school for having a hickey on my neck. High schools think it’s okay for students to salute to Hitler but apparently tiny marks on our body is what should be condemned. Public school systems, please focus more on disciplining students who practice hate.

Really? Really? I shouldn’t be shocked, but I am.

Hickeys happen. As an adult in my forties, I have accidentally ended up with visible hickeys. My partners don’t mean to cause them, but I bruise easily, and so sometimes hickeys are the result. Mercifully, they don’t tend to be huge, but they are easily seen. In central Texas, turtlenecks are lethal apparel most of the year when it’s 90+ degrees outside. I’ve also never found makeup to be very effective at covering them up.

Our society really needs to get over this fear of women being visibly sexual. The amount of shaming that was done to this student both by the school and in the Twitter comments is ridiculous. She is perfectly entitled to have a sex life as are all other women and people. Besides, hickeys don’t have to be accompanied by sex. I got plenty of unintended ones from boyfriends before we were sexually active.

At most, the student should have been asked to consult with the nurse to make sure she is using proper protection if she is sexually active. She should not have been suspended. A hickey on her neck was not going to prevent her or anyone else around her from learning that day.

The student in question notes in the comments that the boy who caused the hickey was also suspended for his part, and while it’s nice they were treated equally, they were both treated inappropriately. I really hope this young woman and her partner got legal advice and fought back. It’s time for our society to stop judging people for being healthy sexual beings.

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