Fantasy

The Deception of Hollywood Sex

I believe that Hollywood does a great disservice toward American views on sex, arguably more than porn since more people see mainstream Hollywood films than porn. More importantly, most of us were watching Hollywood films at a younger age, and the sex scenes we were seeing on the big screen, while not explicit, were still some of our first impressions of what sex is “supposed” to be.

Think about it. What does the stereotypical Hollywood sex/love scene look like? For starters, it’s heterosexual. A man and a woman, both of whom have perfect bodies, are coming together to celebrate their deep and passionate love for each other. In rare cases, it’s carnal lust, but most often, the myth of “one true love” is part of the scene. There are almost always candles setting the scene and romantic music in the background. Birth control and condoms aren’t discussed or used. The couple’s movements flow, almost dance-like. Everything happens smoothly and sensuously. There’s very little foreplay, and yet the woman will reach orgasm. The scene will likely end with the simultaneous climax of both partners during penis-in-vagina sex.

After so many years of watching movies like Dirty Dancing and other romantic chic flicks as a teenager, I certainly had very set expectations of what things would be like when I finally got to have sex. As one might expect, I was sorely disappointed by the reality.

Let’s start with the literal mess that sex creates. Nowhere in Hollywood sex scenes is there a mess. Whether it’s sweat, semen, arousal fluid, squirting, menstrual blood or lube causing the mess, sex is inherently messy. In the Hollywood sex scenes, no one breaks a sweat and no one fumbles lube because of slippery hands. No one ends up in a cold wet spot on the bed. Hollywood sex is very sterile. In the real world? Not so much.

Real world sex is also not choreographed, but the sex scenes in the movies are very much pre-planned though most young people watching don’t realize this. The movie sex scenes involve days of rehearsal, hours of practice, and dozens of cuts. The actors involved don’t just hook up with the camera rolling. Hollywood sex is a staged, choreographed, intricately planned scene that in no way resembles what happens in most people’s bedrooms.

In the sex that most of us have, arms and legs often become problematic. It sometimes seems like there is an extra octopus involved even though you know there are (usually) only four arms and four legs. Human arms really need to be detachable at times because they get in the way or get uncomfortable being underneath a partner. Legs sometimes end up in weird positions. Knees and elbows often bump partners unintentionally in painful and sometimes sensitive places. Bodies will sometimes make unexpected and indelicate noises that are far from romantic and definitely aren’t something that would show up in a Hollywood sex scene.

Most of all, our bodies are imperfect. We have scars, stretch marks, and fat. Most of us don’t have a six pack. Our skin is not necessarily smooth. We have moles, acne, bacne, and skin tags. Our breasts sag. Our hair falls out or grows in places we don’t want it. Our bodies aren’t perfect, and yet at the same time they are amazing bodies that can give us immense pleasure.

And then there are the orgasms. While simultaneous climax does happen, it’s not the most common occurrence during sex. More importantly, sex is a lot more than penis-in-vagina which is what Hollywood glorifies. What most people term foreplay is actually sex, especially for women. Only 25% of women are able to have orgasms from penetrative vaginal sex, so for the other 75%, the Hollywood scenes are a complete mythology. Oral sex and manual sex are very common ways of helping partners reach orgasm, but rarely are those shown in the mainstream. Instead, Hollywood is still focusing on the “ultimate” myth of glorifying the almighty penis.

Hollywood could start doing so much to open up the sexual mindset of America. We need to be seeing sex acts, even discrete ones with no revealing nudity, that aren’t focused on penile-centric sex. We need to be shown women having orgasms from having their clitorises stimulated. We need to see couples taking turns having orgasms. And most importantly, we need to see both halves of couples helping afterward to clean up the huge mess sex can make!

©2018 WoodLeatherLace.com

Spanking Survey, Part 13

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This post is a continuing series of spanking survey questions, now moving to questions about spankings as an adult. Previous parts are here: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve.

What kind of spanking role play do you enjoy or want to try? I haven’t done a lot of role playing, but all of these ideas seem like fun to me. Since I’m into M/F spanking scenarios, these are phrased in ways that reflect that.

Airplane pilot/passenger
Boss/employee or secretary
Cab driver/rider
Cable guy/housewife
Chauffeur/employer
Chef/waitress or complaining customer
Client/sex worker
Cowboy/innocent pioneer girl
Customer/waitress
Detective/criminal
Director/actress
Doctor/nurse
Doctor/patient
Dorm monitor/student
Driver/hitchhiker
Electrician/housewife
Farmer/farmhand
Flight attendant/annoying passenger
Friend’s dad/naughty girl
Gardener/housewife
Groom/bride
Head butler/naughty maid
Janitor/shopper
King/dungeon prisoner
Knight/spoiled princess
Lifeguard/swimmer
Lord/lady
Magician/assistant
Mailman/housewife
Mall Santa/naughty girl
Master/genie
Master/maid
Master/slave
Naval officer/citizen
Park ranger/camper
Piano teacher/student
Pimp/sex worker
Pirate/wench
Plumber/housewife
Police/criminal
Police/speeding driver
Priest/confessee
Priest/nun
Principal/parent
Principal/teacher
Private eye/woman having affair
Research scientist/human lab rat
Room service/hotel guest
Santa/elf
Santa/Mrs. Claus
Santa/naughty parent
Sex worker/client
Store owner/parent of shoplifter
Store owner/shoplifter
Strangers
Teacher/parent
Teacher/teacher
Traveler/hotel maid
Trucker/hitchhiker
Uncle/teenager
UPS man/housewife
Warden/inmate

(continue to part 14)

©2018 WoodLeatherLace.com

Women Spanking Women

Someone on Fetlife asked me a great question: “You post many pictures of women spanking women even though you list yourself as straight. Have you ever spanked or been spanked by another woman?”

The short answer to this is no, not as an adult. The long answer is more complicated.

I am definitely straight. I’ve been looking for a gay bone in my body for the past 15 years with no success. I would love to be able to widen my dating field to include women, but I have never met a woman I have felt sexually attracted to. It’s just not there for me. I wish it was. I watched a tv series many years ago called Bob and Rose. It’s about a man who is 100% gay until he meets and falls in love with a woman. He feels no attraction to any other women. Just her. Can I say that it’s impossible for that to happen to me, too? No. Maybe someday I will meet a woman who triggers a sexual response in me. So far, though, I haven’t.

Yet when it comes to spanking, I am attracted to some female spankers. I think this is psychological more than sexual. My best guess is that it is a result of not having had a loving mother growing up. She didn’t want me and didn’t love me. She is seriously mentally ill. She is exactly what no one would want for a mother. So the idea of a loving mother who disciplined from a place of caring rather than violence is attractive to me on a fantasy level.

In addition, I like strong women. I appreciate women who don’t let themselves cornered into being a weak person by society’s idea of what women “should” be. I like my men the same way. The most attractive people to me are ones who can take control of a situation. A strong female or male spanker certainly fits that model!

However, I’m not sure I’d ever seek to fulfill the fantasy of a female disciplinarian because as an adult, spanking is inherently sexual to me. The only way I could see it happening is if I had a female disciplinarian spank me with my male partner watching. She would leave after the spanking so he could give me aftercare including sex. I shared this fantasy with a previous partner who wasn’t really open to what I wanted. He wanted his version of the fantasy which included turning the whole thing into a threesome. I have absolutely no interest in a threesome (whereas he has a fetish for it), so the fantasy wasn’t something that would have ever happened with him.

When I read spanking fiction or look at spanking art, my preference is: 1) M/F  2) F/F 3) F/M 4) M/M. For me, it’s the subordinate female that is the important part of the scenario. When I watch spanking videos, I generally only watch M/F or F/F. Sometimes I will watch F/M, but I almost never watch M/M. Watching men get spanked really doesn’t turn me on at all.

So as an adult, no, I have never been spanked by a woman nor do I have any real desire to spank a woman. I’m a sub, so I prefer to be spanked rather than do the spanking.

©2017 WoodLeatherLace.com