clueless men

Bizarre Bookends

Remember back at the beginning of the year when I went on a date with a man who “forgot” to mention to me that he was non-monogamous? You can refresh your memory here. I’ll wait.

So anyway, I reactivated my dating profiles on a few sites recently after another round of heartbreak. When I did, I discovered that particular non-monogamous jerkwad has a new account where he actually has himself clearly marked as non-monogamous. I learned this because he had the audacity to mark he was interested in me. This leads me to two possible conclusions:

  1. He doesn’t remember our date, in which case, fuck him.
  2. He remembers we had a great date and he thinks I should give him a second chance, in which case, fuck him.

Seriously, I don’t give guys who intentionally mislead or lie to me second chances. Life is too short for that. If a guy can’t be honest with me about the basics of his life, then he is out on the first strike. If he is going to lie to me about something major on the first date, that pretty much tells me he’ll be willing to lie to me about anything for the rest of our lives, and I’m not signing up for that.

Good luck, jerkwad. The block button is my friend as always! You will not be visiting my profile through that account again.

©2018 WoodLeatherLace.com

Offensive

After having recently said I don’t get as many awful messages from men on dating sites as I used to, the men in my dating market decided to prove me wrong. Somehow this one made it through the filters I have set up. The entire message was a long paragraph, and because several other things he said could reveal my identity, I’ve edited it down. However, everything he said was just as appalling as this snippet:

I’m at this time more attracted to your mind than you appearance. With that being said, I know you are intelligent enough to doll it up when you desire too soon I hope than was not offensive.

Um, yes, asshole, that was completely offensive. You just called me ugly. How do you suggest I “doll it up”? Does that involve getting a new face with plastic surgery? Because this is whom I am. If you don’t like it, that’s your problem, not mine. Being intelligent actually has taught me that I don’t need to change myself for men like you because you are just a low-life jerk concerned about his own preferences and needs being met without any concern for mine.

In case you are wondering, this guy was 18 years older than me, and he looked like he couldn’t be bothered to trim his facial hair or deal with his own personal hygiene very often. He was by no means a hot catch. He wasn’t incredibly ugly, but he wasn’t going to be on a “hottest men” list any time in the near future. He wasn’t someone who should be making judgments on women’s beauty (not that any man should be doing that directly to a woman on a dating site).

And yes, the rest of his message was as loaded with grammatical errors, comma splices, run-on sentences, and punctuation errors as these sentences. If he’s attracted to my mind, then he should know that I’m definitely not attracted to his.

©2018 WoodLeatherLace.com

Erection by Pizza

Because a few of the dating sites I’m on have changed their messaging policies, I no longer get the slew of obnoxious messages I used to get. But every once in a while one comes through that just makes me scratch my head. The most recent one was: “I was more excited to see your profile photo than pizza. And I really like pizza.”

I refrained from sending back the snarky reply, “Really? You get erections from pizza? Also, telling a strange woman that her picture gives you an erection is usually not the best way to win her favor, especially when comparing her to a piece of greasy food. Just FYI.”

©2018 WoodLeatherLace.com

Ballbusting

Fascinating DM on Fetlife from a non-local man who is about my age:

Have you ever had to hit some jerk in the balls cause he was either a jerk or cause he was being an aggressive asshole? Curious how effective it is – ? Did the guy drop unable to get up or immobilized to some extent ? Anyways

Really? REALLY? Is he trying to get me to threaten to do the same to his balls? What would possibly make him think this the way to start a conversation with me? There is NOTHING on my profile to indicate that I’m interested in ballbusting or CBT, and given that I’m a sub, it’s probably not a conversation that will turn me on or interest me.

I do not understand the weird men of the internet, but then again, that’s nothing new.

The block button remains my best friend on Fetlife, dating sites, LinkedIn, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook….

©2018 WoodLeatherLace.com