adult spanking

Spanking Survey, Part 9

This post is a continuing series of spanking survey questions, now moving to questions about spankings as an adult. Previous parts are here: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

When did you start wanting to be spanked as an adult? I asked my then fiancé when I was I my early twenties. He said no. It took a very long time and a marriage counselor before he started spanking me, and even then, I never got the kinds of spankings I wanted from him.

Who do you want to be spanked by as an adult? My male partner. Spanking for me is very sexual; I can’t imagine a spanking without sex. I’ve got a fantasy of being spanked by a maternal disciplinarian who would then leave for my male partner to “comfort me.” I’m not sure if I will ever act on it. That will probably depend on future partners and their fantasies. Some fantasies are just mean to be fantasies, though.

What is the reddest your bottom has ever gotten from a spanking as an adult? Dark pink. I’d love to go for red. I’m told I fade very quickly; I often can’t see any indication I was spanked after my partner and I get done having post-spanking sex.

Would you be interested in being spanked by a machine? It’s an interesting idea. I’d be open to trying it once to see what it’s like, especially if my partner is sitting there looking me in the face and lecturing me while the machine spanks.

Would you volunteer as the target in a spanking booth? Maybe, under the right conditions. It would have to be for a great charitable cause, it would have to require expensive donations (like at least $10 a swat), it would have to be clothed, it would have to be for a limited time or maximum number of swats total, and it would have to have a maximum on number of swats from each person. But other than all of those conditions, sure. 🙂

Would you like receiving bedtime spankings? Absolutely! I would love to go to bed on a red bottom after waiting all day after getting a text from my partner warning me that I would be getting a bedtime spanking that night. I have been spanked in the evenings by partners before bed, but I’ve never gotten a ritualistic bedtime spanking from any of them.

Have you ever participated in a spanking contest? (a contest where you and a friend spank each other mercilessly and see who lasts longer) No. I’ve never actually spanked any of my partners, so this hasn’t been an option. I don’t do casual spanking with friends. I’ve never really had any desire to spank my partners, but I would upon request.

Have you ever been spanked nude in front of your friends? No, and I would never agree to it.

Have you ever been spanked until you cried? Not as an adult as of this post. I really want to experience this with someone, but I will have to establish a lot of trust with him first.

How often are you spanked? When I am in a relationship, almost every time we get together and are in a private location!

How often would you like to be spanked? I’d like play spankings or funishment at least 5 times a week once I’m in a relationship. Sometimes I consider whether I’d like once a week disciplinary or maintenance spanking, but I can’t really see that happening except with the right partner.

How long are your spankings? They don’t have a set time limit. A partner and I integrate them into sex and/or role playing, so the whole event is a minimum of an hour most of the time and often two or more. I love having a short “good morning spanking” that is hard enough to pinken up my bottom a bit but that doesn’t last that long. It’s just a good way to start the day.

Do you find violence sexually exciting? Not at all. Violence is a huge turnoff for me. Videos that have abuse of women are ones I turn off quickly. I don’t like seeing bruising of bottoms that is so bad that they are literally purple, black, or lacerated either. I like lecturing during spankings, but I don’t like verbal abuse.

Would you consider a Domestic Discipline (DD) relationship? In a word, no. I want a partnership that is equal that is built on respect and trust.

However, in one of my fantasies, while we would be equals, I would approach him once a week with a log of things I had done wrong. I would ask him to spank me for them. It would not be like in a DD relationship where one partner decides that the other needs to be spanked. I would be responsible for “confessing my sins” and then he would apply a spanking based on a rubric we had established. For example, for each day I failed to put my clean laundry away, I would get 10 hard hand spanks on my bare bottom, or for each time I used profanity unnecessarily, I would get a lick with the belt.

That said, I would not be opposed to him approaching me and saying, “Hey, it seems like you’ve gotten up on the wrong side of the bed today. Would a good old-fashioned spanking help to change your attitude for the rest of the day?” It would be a discussion and decision between the two of us, not him dictating what I need. I don’t want someone controlling me. I want him being my partner and equal in decision making including around what I needed.

However, I’ve never had a relationship with someone where I felt like this fantasy could be a reality. It may always just be a fantasy.

Why do you feel a need to be punished as an adult? Well, let’s start with the fact that I’m a spanko who reads too much erotic fiction and has too many fantasies in her head. 🙂

Beyond that, I think those of us who were raised in a pro-spanking society have it engrained in our brains that spanking is a way of redemption, a way of cleansing guilt, and a way of atoning for our sins or misbehaviors. I never felt that relief from the abusive spankings I received as a child, though. I only felt bitterness, anger, judgment and shame. I felt punished, not cleansed. I’m not sure if I would be able to achieve that redemptive feeling from an adult punishment or not.

What would you like to be punished for as an adult? Procrastination would definitely be the main problem for me. I could use a little motivation. I can also lose my cool at times when someone pushes my buttons, and I don’t like it when I do.