Orgasmic Noises

This recent article on CNN.com about why women make noises during sex really pissed me off. The highlights:

  • “‘While female orgasms were most commonly experienced during foreplay, copulatory vocalizations were reported to be made most often before and simultaneously with male ejaculation.'”
  • “Women also reported making noise to relieve boredom, fatigue and pain/discomfort during sex.”
  • “Vocalizing during sex can actually be a great tool to help women get what they want in bed…. ‘Use vocalization to teach your partner what feels good. It can help you say, ‘stop, go, yes, more please,’ without sounding like a traffic cop.'”
  • “‘I think there are many women who need to be vocal to help themselves achieve orgasm. It helps move them and their orgasm along. There are certainly phases. As a woman gets into it, she may become extremely vocal and then move into a period of quiet as she is on the verge.'”

You know what’s missing in the article? Completely missing? Women making noise because they are so overwhelmed by pleasure that they can’t help but vocalize as a release. Why the hell isn’t that discussed? Why can’t the author of the article and those the author quotes see that some women scream with pleasure because they can’t contain how powerful their orgasms are? Why are women’s sexual pleasure and orgasms seen as things that are difficult to achieve rather than something completely normal?

Seriously, we need to do massive work on how society views women’s pleasure during sex.

©2018 WoodLeatherLace.com

And Then It Was Over

Despite my great optimism about it, my most recent relationship only lasted a month. He is a great guy and has a lot to offer for the right woman. I just am not that woman.

From our first date, he began falling in love with me. He was certain that I was The One. I didn’t feel that instant chemistry to make me believe that he might be my forever guy, but I was open to seeing if it might grow.

For him, the love kept blooming. I never had any questions about his feelings for me. He was truly enamored with me. I liked him a lot, but as much as I wanted the love to grow, it just didn’t develop. Instead, the opposite happened. The initial lust I felt for him quickly faded away. I found myself thinking of him as a friend instead of a lover. I became resentful about the idea of having sex with him because it just didn’t feel right to me any more.

Once I knew that the love was never going to develop for me, I couldn’t lead him on with him hoping so much that I would eventually feel more. I just knew it would never be there. So I did what I felt was the merciful thing, and I let him know that I very much wanted to remain friends, but I couldn’t offer him more.

He told me I would never hear from him again.

While I hope that was a statement made in anger and pain, he has disconnected from me on all social networks. I know there’s a chance I won’t ever hear from him, and that saddens me. He is a great guy, and I had a lot of fun with him. We laughed quite a bit together. It just wasn’t the right romantic relationship for me.

I hope he does find the woman he is looking for. He had informed me early in the relationship that he would never date again if things didn’t work out with me, but he’d already reactivated his dating profiles the day after we ended things. I take that as a sign he hasn’t truly given up hope.

Relationships aren’t easy, but just finding a good one to be a part of is really a struggle.

©2018 WoodLeatherLace.com

Oh, the Irony

Remember when I wrote that I find masturbation a chore? It’s still usually true.

Yesterday, however, my boyfriend whispered in my ear at the grocery store that he was putting me on a two week masturbation restriction. Dear heavens, that was sexy as fuck.

And now? Now I want to masturbate. Oh, the irony.

©2018 WoodLeatherLace.com

The Essence of Life

Kiss my hungry lips like your survival depends on it.
Caress my naked body as though I am the source of all life.
Gaze into my eyes because they are the windows to my soul.
Inhale my delicate scent like that of a fragrant rose.
Taste my fluids as if they will nourish you forever.
Listen to my moans for they are sacred music feeding your essence.
Feel my energy merge with yours like two powerful rivers uniting.
Love me in ways you never thought were possible

And I will do the same for you.

©2018 WoodLeatherLace.com

A New Theory

My spanking fetish continues to be AWOL most of the time. I thought it was due to medication changes, but that doesn’t seem to have played out.

Perimenopausal hormone shifts may be playing in. Most of the month, I had have no desire for anything related to spanking. Sometimes I’ll get a small spike in interest when my hormones change around ovulation and my period, but most months I’m not even getting that anymore.

When I look at spanking porn and spanking erotica most of the time right now, I’m either uninterested or repulsed. They just don’t work for me. I find this puzzling at best. Even more vanilla porn or erotica aren’t working for me either any more. I desperately want to have passionate (relatively) vanilla sex with a man who wants to have sex with me, but the rest of it… eh. No interest. This is a pretty radical change for me from how I’ve been in recent years.

My newest theory is that the real culprit is the lack of sex in my life. I’m turning into a female eunuch. I’m not using it, so I’m losing it.

Seriously, this is the longest dry spell I’ve had in quite a while. It’s definitely not working for me, but I’m also unwilling to settle for a hookup right now. I’m happier when I’m in a relationship with some stability rather than just finding sex for sex’s sake. Maybe that’s a sign that I’m getting old and wise!

My blog posts will probably continue to be erratic as a result. When I do have a burst of kinky desire, I try to pre-schedule several future posts. Lately, though, I haven’t even had the interest in doing that. I really hope that will change in the near future, though.

©2018 WoodLeatherLace.com

A Valentine’s Day Secret

This blog post brought to you by a bottle of red wine and a box of assorted dark chocolates, both of which were bought by me, for me.

Psst. Wanna know a secret?

I hate Valentine’s Day.

Twice a year, I let the calendar get to me a lot more than I should. Valentine’s Day is one of those two occasions. And even though it’s not even February yet, the big ol’ V-Day curse is haunting me and depressing me.

You see, I’ve never celebrated Valentine’s Day with a boyfriend, lover or partner. Never. Ever. For some reason, fate laughs at me, and I’m always single on Valentine’s Day, left alone to watch all the other happy people surrounding me as they celebrate their love for each other.

The only time I wasn’t single on Valentine’s Day was when I was dating or married to my now ex-husband, and even when we were dating he didn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. He didn’t see the point. He already had me following him around like a dope because I was so head over heels for him, so why should he do anything out of the ordinary for me? He didn’t think he had to because he knew my love for him was assured. Hence, he never once bought me a card, flowers, chocolates, jewelry or even wished me a happy Valentine’s Day. Instead, it was just another ordinary day to him. I bought him cards, wrote him love letters, bought him candy and gave him flowers. He just didn’t return the sentiments.

So even though I had a partner on Valentine’s Day for so many years, I still had to watch others lugging roses from their boyfriends around campus, or in later years, posting pictures of them on Facebook with notes about how amazing their partners were. Me? Nope. Nothing to post. Nothing at all.

This year all the Valentine’s Day marketing seems to have started earlier than usual, and it already has put me in my February funk. While Valentine’s Day is still more than two weeks away, I can pretty much be assured I won’t be having kinky sex then to celebrate my love for a man or his love for me. Instead, I’ll be here drinking my wine and binge eating my chocolates. Alone.

Valentine’s Day really sucks for the singles, y’all. No matter how much “Singles Appreciation Day” spin you try to put on it, when you want to be in a relationship and aren’t, it just is no fun to watch everyone else around you celebrating their romantic love with their partners.

©2018 WoodLeatherLace.com