I recently saw a tweet that (in my paraphrased version of it) stated, “I’m going to express an unpopular opinion: I don’t enjoy 69 because I want to be fully present when I give or receive.” When I read that, I wanted to scream, “Amen, sister!”
From the time I was a teen, tittering and gossiping with friends as we imagined what life would be like after we had lost our virginity, we somehow had picked up the idea that “69” or mutual simultaneous oral sex was the end-all, be-all of oral sex. I have no idea why this was part of the sexual mythology in our culture, but I know it was definitely true.
As with so many sexual things, the reality of 69 was far from what I expected. My first partner and I tried it at one point, and I was very much not sold on it. I couldn’t pay attention to both sucking on his cock and receiving his attentions on my clit. I disliked it so much so that I didn’t try it again until a partner after my divorce insisted we do it. Because he was a Dom, I followed his lead, and once again I discovered that I really don’t like 69. I love giving head, and I love having my clit licked. But at the same time? It all loses so much.
As a result, I don’t have 69 with a partner unless he insists, and most don’t. Most are like me in that they prefer to devote all their attention to either giving or receiving. There really is too much of a good thing at times, and 69 seems to fall in that category.