Month: July 2018

Spanking Survey, Part 15

This post is a continuing series of spanking survey questions, now moving to questions about spankings as an adult. Previous parts are here: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen.

What positions or special situations do you like to be spanked in as an adult?

All fours
Back of couch
Back of stuffed armchair
Hands and knees on bed
Hands and knees on the bed while sucking his cock
Laying on bed with spanker sitting on my back facing reverse
Massage table
Over center of bed on pillows
Over side of bed
Over stuffed armchair arm
Over the knee
Over the lap

What positions do you not like being spanked in as an adult?

I haven’t tried anything I haven’t liked yet!

What positions have you not tried being spanked in as an adult but would like to?

Backseat of a car
Bent over chair
Bent over desk
Car window
Diaper position
Diving board
Fallen tree
Gynecology table (pussy spanking)
Hands and knees on floor
Haybale
Holding shower rod
In the rain
In the shower
Kneeling on chair
Kneeling with my head between his knees
Knees on floor. Lean over bed w/ limbs tied down
Ladder
Ladder, library
Laying on bed with spanker sitting on my back facing reverse
Leg locked
Oiled bottom
On a wet bottom
Ottoman
Over a cannon
Over fence
Over ironing board
Over log
Over swing
Over the edge of the bathtub
Over the hood of a car
Over the kitchen counter
Piano bench
Piano keys lid
Piano lid
Spanking bench
Spanking horse
St. Andrew’s cross
Stepstool
Stockade
Stool
Table
Tied to a four post or canopy bed
Tied up to a hook on the ceiling
Tree limb
Under the shoulder
Wedge
While being figged

What positions are you not willing to be spanked in as an adult?

Over banister on balcony—I get vertigo from this kind of thing.

Over the shoulder – I’d be open to this and think it’s very sexy but my weight makes it prohibitive.

Wheelbarrow—That position always looks super awkward to me.

What is your preferred clothing status during a spanking as an adult?

I like starting clothed and then ending up nude. Of the options given with this question, this is my order of preference:

Naked waist down
In lingerie
Pants down, in thong/jock strap
Pants down, in tight underwear
Pants down, in underwear
Completely naked
In underwear only
Naked waist up
Fully clothed

©2018 WoodLeatherLace.com

Spanking Survey, Part 14

This post is a continuing series of spanking survey questions, now moving to questions about spankings as an adult. Previous parts are here: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen.

Which of these spanking implements have you been spanked with as an adult and what did you think of each?

Belt, leather—I’ve only experienced it once but really liked it.

Belt, leather with cutouts/holes—I’ve only experienced it once, and the belt we were using was flimsy. It didn’t work well. I’d be willing to try again with a different one.

Brush, bamboo—It stings more than the wood brushes but this is my daily use hairbrush so it’s emotionally more powerful when it gets used on me for spanking.

Brush, plastic hair—Stingy but I like it.

Brush, plastic bath—Stingy but I don’t mind it.

Brush, wooden bath—Stingy and thuddy but I like it.

Brush, wooden hair – Stingy and thuddy and I like it.

Crop– I hate the damn thing yet I’ll also ask for it on occasion. I have two. I don’t like when it accidentally gets used as a cane on me.

Drumsticks—I actually really enjoyed these.

Flogger, leather – I have an imitation leather flogger that I love when used properly.

Flogger, mini—I really love the mini-flogger.

Hand—I like hand spanking. It also depends whose hand and how hard! I find hand spanking to be really stingy and I prefer more thuddy.

Paddle, leather—I have a bunch of leather and imitation leather paddles. I love them. They’re my preferred choice for spanking implements most of the time.

Paddle, ping pong – I really like this being used on me.

Rope—I hated this. It is way too stingy. Never again.

Spoon, wooden—I like the wooden spoon a lot. Most of my partners don’t like using it, though.

Tawse, leather—The leather tawse I have is really stiff. I bought it for pussy spanking, and it stings like holy fuck. It works better on other body parts.

What spanking implements would you like to be spanked with as an adult but have not yet been?

On these, the ones with stars are implements that I own but which I haven’t managed to get a partner to use on me.

Belt, braided leather
Birch, spray
Book*
Bread board
Brush, bakelite
Brush, clothes/laundry
Carpet beater
Carpet beater, mini
Ceiling fan blade
Cheese board
Chicken, rubber
Cribbage board
Cutting board, plastic
Cutting board, wood
Feather duster*
Flogger, braided leather
Flyswatter, leather*
Flyswatter, metal
Flyswatter, plastic
Gloves, leather
Hanger, plastic*
Hot Wheels track
Leather loopy
Leather scabbard
Licorice
Loopy toy
Martinet
Paddle, butter churn*
Paddle, jokari
Paddle, Lego board attached
Paddle, lexan
Paddle, lexan with holes
Paddle, plastic
Paddle, plastic with holes
Paddle, silicone
Paddle, wood large
Paddle, wood small
Paddle, wood with holes
Paint stick, plastic
Paint stick, wood*
Racket, badminton
Racket, tennis
Sandal
Shoe horn
Shoe, gym (aka plimsoll/sneaker/sand shoe)
Silicone spatula
Slipper, leather sole*
Slipper, plastic sole*
Spatula, bamboo*
Spatula, metal
Spatula, plastic*
Spatula, wooden
Spoon, bamboo*
Spoon, plastic mixing *
Spoon, wooden with holes*
Strap, leather
Strap, prison
Tawse, leather
Toy paddle*
Wet towel
Yardstick*

What spanking implements do you NOT want to be spanked with?

Belt, studded
Birch, single branch
Birch, judicial
Brush, metal
Cane, bamboo
Cane, rattan
Dowel, plastic
Dowel, wood
Electric cord
Flogger, rope
Flyswatter, electric
Frying pan
Gloves, vampire
Hanger, metal
Hanger, wood
Hose, rubber
Loopy johnny (neoprene)
Nettles
Paddle, spiked
Paddle, studded
Paddle, wood with horseshoe attatched
Piano wire
Plastic cane
Rolling pin, plastic
Rolling pin, wood
Sjambok
Squeegee
Strap, rubber
Switch
Toilet brush
Violin bow
Whip, bull
Whip, dragon tongue
Whip, dragon’s tail
Whip, dressage

Thanks to followers on Fetlife for helping me add to this list. Feel free to add more ideas in the comments section!

(continue to part 15)

©2018 WoodLeatherLace.com

Spanking Survey, Part 13

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This post is a continuing series of spanking survey questions, now moving to questions about spankings as an adult. Previous parts are here: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve.

What kind of spanking role play do you enjoy or want to try? I haven’t done a lot of role playing, but all of these ideas seem like fun to me. Since I’m into M/F spanking scenarios, these are phrased in ways that reflect that.

Airplane pilot/passenger
Boss/employee or secretary
Cab driver/rider
Cable guy/housewife
Chauffeur/employer
Chef/waitress or complaining customer
Client/sex worker
Cowboy/innocent pioneer girl
Customer/waitress
Detective/criminal
Director/actress
Doctor/nurse
Doctor/patient
Dorm monitor/student
Driver/hitchhiker
Electrician/housewife
Farmer/farmhand
Flight attendant/annoying passenger
Friend’s dad/naughty girl
Gardener/housewife
Groom/bride
Head butler/naughty maid
Janitor/shopper
King/dungeon prisoner
Knight/spoiled princess
Lifeguard/swimmer
Lord/lady
Magician/assistant
Mailman/housewife
Mall Santa/naughty girl
Master/genie
Master/maid
Master/slave
Naval officer/citizen
Park ranger/camper
Piano teacher/student
Pimp/sex worker
Pirate/wench
Plumber/housewife
Police/criminal
Police/speeding driver
Priest/confessee
Priest/nun
Principal/parent
Principal/teacher
Private eye/woman having affair
Research scientist/human lab rat
Room service/hotel guest
Santa/elf
Santa/Mrs. Claus
Santa/naughty parent
Sex worker/client
Store owner/parent of shoplifter
Store owner/shoplifter
Strangers
Teacher/parent
Teacher/teacher
Traveler/hotel maid
Trucker/hitchhiker
Uncle/teenager
UPS man/housewife
Warden/inmate

(continue to part 14)

©2018 WoodLeatherLace.com

Spanking Survey, Part 12

This post is a continuing series of spanking survey questions, now moving to questions about spankings as an adult. Previous parts are here: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven.

What spanking phrases turn you on?

This is a long list! Honestly, a lot of them do. Here are the type of thing that I love to hear or read in spanking stories. Many of these come from fetishes on Fetlife.

“A brat I know is going to shed tears tonight.”

“Am I ever going to have to spank you like this again?”

“Am I getting through to you yet?”

“Am I going to have to restrain you?”

“And why are you being punished little girl?”

“Answer me, young lady.”

“Are you beginning to regret your misbehavior?”

“Are you ever going to do that again?”

“Are you sassing me, young lady?”

“Are you trying to earn a spanking?”

“Ask me politely for your spanking.”

“Behave or you are going to get a harder spanking.”

“Behave or you are going to get a longer spanking.”

“Come here. I said, come here.”

“Count out the licks of the belt/paddle and thank me for each one.”

“Did I tell you that you could pull your panties up?”

“Do as you’re told, young lady, or else.”

“Do I need to pull your panties down and warm your bottom up?”

“Do I need to spank your bottom, little girl?”

“Do I need to start spanking with the wooden spoon again?”

“Do I need to use the backside of your hairbrush on you?”

“Do we need to do this again at bedtime?”

“Do we need to do this every day for a week?”

“Do you need a reminder?”

“Do you need a spanking, young lady?”

“Do you need an attitude adjustment?”

“Do you need another spanking again already?”

“Do you want a spanking, young lady?”

“Do you want another spanking, young lady?”

“Do you want me to bring your mother/sibling/friend/grandparent in here to watch me spank you?”

“Do you want me to take my belt off?”

“Do you want me to take you into the bathroom at the restaurant and pull down your panties for a spanking?”

“Do you want me to use your hairbrush for its other job?”

“Don’t ‘But Sir…’ me. You had your chances already. It’s spanking time.”

“Don’t push me too far, young lady, unless you want to pay the consequences. I promise they won’t be fun.”

“Don’t push your luck young lady!”

“Enough. Now come here.”

“Get in the backseat of the car, young lady. I’m going to be pulling your panties down for a spanking here and now. When we get home, you’re going to get another.”

“Go get my belt.”

“Go get ready for bed because after your spanking, you are going to be crying yourself to sleep tonight.”

“Go get your hairbrush and not another word unless you don’t want to sit for a week.”

“Go get your hairbrush.”

“Go stand/sit in the corner with your panties down until I decide you are ready for your spanking.”

“Go to your room and wait for me. NOW.”

“Have I made myself clear, young lady?”

“How many times am I going to have to spank you today?”

“I didn’t ask you. I told you.”

“I didn’t forget about your spanking, little girl. Now get over here so I can give you what you earned.”

“I didn’t raise you that way.”

“I don’t have a problem giving you a spanking if you don’t change your attitude.”

“I don’t think you’re really sorry yet.”

“I don’t want to spank you, sweetheart, but it’s my duty as your Dom. I have to do what’s best for you, and what’s best for you right now is a good, hard spanking on your bare bottom to teach you a lesson.”

“I know it hurts. That’s the point. Spankings are supposed to hurt. And it’s going to hurt even more before I’m done.”

“I know what is best for you, so you need to do as I say.”

“I know you are sorry, but you still have to take the spanking you earned.”

“I know you don’t think you will do it again, but I’m going to make sure you remember not to do it again.”

“I know you don’t want a spanking, but you need a spanking.”

“I know you heard me, young lady. Do as I said or I will be blistering your bottom.”

“I know your bottom hurts to lay on. You deserved that spanking I just gave you.”

“I love you, too, sweetie, but I’m still going to spank you very hard just like you deserve.”

“I promised you a good, hard spanking and now you’re going to get.”

“I think someone is getting too big for her britches.”

“I will decide when you have had enough.”

“I will keep spanking you until I think you’ve learned your lesson.”

“I’ll make that decision, young lady.”

“I’m ashamed of how you acted.”

“I’m doing this because I love you.”

“I’m doing this because you need it.”

“I’m going to blister your bare bottom.”

“I’m proud of you for taking your punishment so well, little girl.”

“I’ve already spanked you for this once before, and now I’m going to have to give you a much harder spanking this time to make sure you actually learn your lesson.”

“If I get to three, you’re getting a spanking.”

“If I have to spank you again for this, it will be much worse.”

“If I have to spank you again for this, you won’t be able to sit down for a week.”

“If you are still making bratty comments, I know your spanking hasn’t even gotten started yet.”

“If you don’t cooperate with your spanking, you’ll get another one tonight at bedtime.”

“If you don’t do X, I’m going to spank you.”

“In this house, you get spanked for acting like that.”

“It’s my job to turn bratty little girls into well-behaved good girls, and spankings are the best way to do that.”

“Keep it up and you’re going to earn a bare-bottom spanking.”

“Kiss the hairbrush and thank me for the spanking I’m about to give you with it.”

“No, I am not going to stop until I am certain you have learned your lesson.”

“NOW!”

“Roll over so I can spank your inner thighs and your pussy now.”

“Someone is going to be sleeping on her tummy tonight.”

“Someone’s bottom is going to be too swollen for panties tonight.”

“Spread your legs, little girl. Your pussy needs to be spanked, too.”

“Stay in position or you are going to earn extra licks.”

“Stop squirming because you aren’t going anywhere.”

“Tell me what kind of spanking you deserve.”

“Tell me what you did to earn a spanking.”

“That spanking I gave you yesterday must not have been hard enough because you’re acting out already.”

“That wasn’t a request.”

“That’s it. You’re getting a spanking.”

“The goal is to make you cry.”

“This is your last warning. Next time you act out you will be spanked.”

“Trust me, you will be crying your eyes out long before this spanking is over.”

“Upstairs. Now!”

“Watch your mouth, young lady.”

“We’ll discuss this later.”

“We’ll discuss this when we get home.”

“We’re nowhere near done with this spanking yet.”

“Well, little girl, you should have thought of that before you earned the spanking.”

“What did I say about talking back?”

“What did I say was going to happen if you did that again?”

“What did you do to deserve a spanking?”

“What happens when you give me attitude, young lady?”

“What happens when you misbehave?”

“When I tell you to do something, you need to listen.”

“Yes, it’s going to hurt. Spankings are meant to hurt. That’s how you learn.”

“You are going to be a sobbing mess by the time I am done spanking you.”

“You are going to be sleeping on your tummy tonight.”

“You are going to get a spanking when I get home.”

“You are going to get a spanking you will never forget.”

“You chose not to listen, and now you are going to have to pay the consequences.”

“You didn’t do what I told you to do, so now it’s time to pay the piper.”

“You get yourself upstairs and I’ll be up to deal with you in a minute!”

“You have earned a very hard bedtime spanking tonight.”

“You knew what would happen if you didn’t listen to me.”

“You know better than that.”

“You need a bare bottom spanking.”

“You need a good hard spanking to remind you how to behave.”

“You need a spanking, young lady, and I am more than happy to give it to you.”

“You need an old-fashioned spanking.”

“You were a naughty, naughty little girl.”

“You’re about to feel my belt, young lady!”

“You’re going to get a spanking for doing that.”

“You’re not crying enough yet, that’s how I know you aren’t truly sorry.”

“You’re not too old for a spanking, little girl.”

“You’re on thin ice, young lady.”

“You’re writing checks your bottom can’t cash.”

“You’ve been asking for a spanking all day and I am done giving you chances. Let’s get you straightened out now.”

“You’ve crossed the line. It’s time for your bare bottom to get spanked.”

“Young lady, pull your panties down now!”

“Your spanking is not over yet. I’m just getting started.”

“You’ve been a bad girl. Get across my lap right now.”

(continue on to part 13)

©2018 WoodLeatherLace.com

Spanking Survey, Part 11

This post is a continuing series of spanking survey questions, now moving to questions about spankings as an adult. Previous parts are here: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

How do you like your spankings to start? I prefer a slow start up with speed and intensity building as we go. I can tolerate more that way and the play session can be longer. I prefer starting over panties and then moving on to bare skin.

Have you ever been spanked to orgasm? No, unfortunately. I hope to experience this someday!

What time of day do you want to be spanked? Yes! All of them. Morning, noon, and night are all fine by me!

Would you like to be spanked by two or more spankers? I’m really not sure about this. Probably not. Maybe in future years I might see it differently. However, because I am monogamous and not an exhibitionist, it’s an idea that is not very appealing to me.

Do you masturbate after your spankings as an adult if you are not having sex with your spanker after the spanking? I’ve never not had sex with my partner after a spanking. Spankings are inherently sexual for me at this point in my life. I don’t do spanking with anyone but my sexual partner. I really can’t imagine spankings without sex.

If you were being spanked with someone else, would you rather go first or second? First, for sure. The anxiety would kill me to watch and wait.

Have you ever been to a spanking party? No, and I am not really interested. I’m not a voyeur or exhibitionist.

Do you want to pick your own implements? Most of the time, no. I prefer my Dom to take control and make the decisions. Every once in a while I will request something in particular, especially if I have a craving for an implement that’s not part of our normal rotation. My Doms are generally happy to oblige, especially if it’s a harsher implement than they’ve been using.

Do you prefer wearing a skirt or pants for a spanking? Well, either way, they get taken off! I don’t really have a preference. Both can be incredibly sexy in different ways. More often than not, I am in lingerie when spanking happens.

Do you have other spanking related fetishes? I love lingerie, butt plugs, bondage and anal sex, all of which are fetishes that mix well with spanking. I’m curious about rectal temperature taking and figging, but I’ve never tried either as of this time.

Do you have any spanking related hard limits? All of the following are off limits for me: shaming, humiliation, public spanking, spanking parties, video being shot, whips, canes, bruising, and lacerations.

Do you prefer fast or slow spankings? For sexual play, slower is fun with unexpected occasional bursts of speed. For more disciplinary play, faster spankings are more painful. Rapidly hitting the same spot five or more times in a row will really get my attention.

How do you respond to spankings as an adult? I generally continue to brat my Dom until he gets serious about spanking me at which point I start promising I’ll be good and begging for him to stop.

Have you ever asked to be punished for something you did growing up but weren’t caught? I would love to have a partner whom I could have help me rewrite some memories of traumatic abusive spankings if/when I get to a point that I’m able to do that. I’d like him to role play the firm, loving parent who didn’t spank out of anger but out of love and a sense of discipline instead. My parents’ spankings were very violent and abusive; I’d like a partner to give them in a much more controlled and ritualistic way that is filled with love. There were a couple of things I did as a teenager that my parents never found out about that I think he should spank me for, too. However, I’m not sure I will ever trust someone enough to do this or that I will get to a point psychologically where I could.

Have you been spanked with a butt plug in? Yes. It didn’t make much of a difference in my opinion. I love butt plugs, so they’re not a punishment for me. I haven’t been spanked while wearing a vibrating butt plug or a ginger plug, and I’m definitely open to trying those.

Have you been spanked with a vibrator inserted? No, but this sounds like a lovely idea.

Have you been spanked wearing a gag? Once. I’d be open to it again with a trusted partner. Most of my partners haven’t been able to earn this level of trust from me.

Have you been spanked while bound? Lots and lots of times. I love it.

Do you enjoy being spanked on a still sore bottom? I have not yet gotten to experience this but I very much look forward to it in the future. It’s something that requires harder play than I can emotionally handle right now.

Have you ever been spanked outdoors? No, not as an adult. I probably received some swats outdoors as a child, but I never got a full bare bottom spanking outdoors that I remember. My parents hid what they did to us from others.

Would you like to be spanked outdoors? I would be open to it if we were in a rural area where there were very likely to be no witnesses. I have some specific fantasies I’d like to fulfill!

What kind of spanking videos do you like to watch? In some ways, it’s easier to say what I don’t like. I don’t like silent spankees. I want them to fuss and cry. I don’t like violent spankings that are more like beatings. I don’t like humiliation and shaming. I’m not a fan of canes or whips. I can’t stand slow-mo videos. I’m not a fan of school spankings or spankings with witnesses unless its multiple spankees waiting their turns.

What I do like in videos is roleplay. I like a story behind the spanking. I like hand spankings, hairbrushes, small paddles, straps, spoons and belts. I like longer spankings that build up. I like spankers who lecture a lot during the spanking, and I like crying spankees who respond with words and tears. I like bratting. I like spankers who end the spanking with a hug (or more).

I really love homemade spanking videos by a couple who truly love each other. The laughter and love that comes through in those videos is beautiful. The Sarah and Heat videos are some of my favorites.

When I watch spanking videos, I generally only watch M/F or F/F. Sometimes I will watch F/M, but I almost never watch M/M. Watching men get spanked really doesn’t turn me on at all.

What kind of spanking fiction/erotica do you like to read? When I read spanking fiction or look at spanking art, my preference is:
1) M/F
2) F/F
3) F/M
4) M/M
For me, it’s the submissive female that is the most important part of the scenario.

Do you think being spanked as a child make you a spanko? No. I think there is too much anecdotal evidence from people who were never spanked as children who became spankos to believe that spanking fetishes result from childhood spankings directly. I think some of us are wired as spankos just as we are wired straight, gay, bi or pansexual.

(continue on to part twelve)

©2018 WoodLeatherLace.com

Playing Too Hard, Part 2

(continued from Part 1)

(content warning: childhood abuse)

After a playful spanking session with my newbie partner, I ended up with unintentional bruises and welts which hurt and lasted for several days. I was pretty upset by the whole situation even though I knew my partner hadn’t intentionally caused physical damage. However, my emotional state told me something was wrong. Very wrong.

It took several days of thinking about it, but I finally let myself go there, into the dark recesses of my mind where my worst memories are stored. I thought about how familiar this pain was. That was a frontier I hadn’t wanted to cross into. I really didn’t want to know what I was remembering, and yet I was going there even though I didn’t want to.

I finally admitted to myself that I knew this pain from a too vigorous spanking because I’d endured it many times before in my childhood. The abusive spankings from my father left me feeling this sore for hours and days afterward. As far as I remember, they were given with his hand only, but clearly on my small childhood frame, they were long enough and hard enough to be physically damaging.

As I child, I had never looked to see if I had marks. I was afraid of being caught looking at my own body. I’d been taught that my body was shameful and whatever behavior I’d done (or my parents thought I had done) to “earn” the abusive spankings was equally shameful. As a result, if I had been physically marked as a child from the abuse, I had never seen it on my own body. However, my body remembered. It knew this feeling. It recognized the pain.

For most of my adult life, I was unwilling to admit I was abused as a child. In more recent years, I’ve always consoled myself that part of the reason that I couldn’t say I was abused was because my parents never used implements on me and never left me bruised or welted. It turns out that at least part of my rationalization was not true, and I have been forced to quit denying the truth. There was no chance my body was lying to me about the pain I was feeling. I was bruised during many spankings in my childhood. I was abused.

Unfortunately, I didn’t feel I could talk to my sexual partner about what had happened to me mentally and emotionally after we played too hard. I just didn’t have the kind of trust in him and our relationship wasn’t deep enough. I talked to my therapist a bit, but not a lot. I am not out to her as kinky, so I only talked in terms of saying that I realized finally that the abuse was more violent than I previously had been willing to admit to myself.

I am still not sure what to do with the knowledge I gained from this session where my partner and I played too hard. I have had sex since then, but not kinky sex, and I’m not sure how I will be able to approach sexual spanking with my next kinky lover having this new yet old knowledge fully in my consciousness now.

I also don’t know if I’ll ever know the full truth of the abuse I endured as a child. My mind has repressed a lot of the worst of it. I also don’t think I really want to know any more details about what I endured. There’s a reason my mind has hidden it from me. What I know is hard enough to cope with. The more I learn, the harder it is for me to handle.

However, I now know why I don’t want to be marked or bruised, and I can let partners definitively know it brings up too much trauma from my abusive childhood. Most of my partners have been understanding about not wanting to retraumatize me and have been good about working to make our sex lives as positive as possible for both of us. I wish we didn’t have that obstacle to work around because the actual spanking session with my previous partner was a lot of fun while we were playing. The aftermath was just too triggering. Unfortunately, though, this is part of my reality that I now must face and so must my future partners.

©2018 WoodLeatherLace.com

Playing Too Hard, Part 1

In one of my recent relationships, my partner was a relative newbie to BDSM. I don’t have a problem with dating novices because we were all new to kink at one point. There are some advantages of being with newbies in that their egos are often not rigid around believing they know exactly what to do for every single partner they play with rather than adapting for each partner’s needs. They’re more teachable! On the other hand, novices often make newbie errors which can be literally painful. It’s a risk, but it’s one I’m willing to take if the partner is right for me.

The partner in question really hadn’t done much kink with other women. He identified as a switch, but I am a sub. I don’t mind switching on rare occasion, but it’s not my preference. Thus, this partner was topping me, something he didn’t have a lot of experience in doing. He loves spanking women, so that part of our fetishes lined up well as I appreciate a man who wants to spank me.

One of his fetishes that didn’t line up well with mine was that he liked bruising and marking. I don’t. It just doesn’t work for me. I don’t mind if accidental small marks happen, but if I bruise in a large way, then my Dom has been playing too hard with me. All of my partners have been aware of this and most have respected my limits. However, for the ones who had a bruising fetish, I have found many often pushed the boundaries to see how far they could take things with me. It’s become enough of a pattern that I’m now hesitant to play with any man who has a fetish for leaving marks or bruising.

When it came to this recent partner, he had some of the hardest hands I’ve ever been spanked with. He told me ahead of time that his hand was a brutal weapon. I didn’t believe him. He was right. I truly preferred crops, paddles, hairbrushes… almost any implement over his hand. He was a hard spanker, and he meant business when he began spanking.

The one day we had been having all sorts of kinky fun which involved flogging, hand spanking, and sex. After I had cum repeatedly, for some reason I ended up getting out my hairbrush and bathbrush collection for my newish partner to use on me. The activity became a test to see which brush caused which reaction from me. My partner wasn’t hitting me extraordinarily hard, but he was spanking me after we’d already had a session of flogging and his normal hard hand spanking.

The brushes were feeling rather ouchie, to put it mildly, but I just assumed that was his arm strength combined using the brushes on me. I’d never felt anything like it with previous partners, and I was enjoying the playful session a lot. Since I was on my stomach on my bed and don’t have any kind of useful mirrors in my bedroom, I couldn’t see what kind of damage my bottom was suffering.

It turns out I was enduring a lot. Probably because I was on a post-orgasmic endorphin high, I had no idea how hard he was actually spanking with the brushes, and I had no idea how red and bruised I was getting. Since he had no experience with spanking other women with brushes, he really didn’t know what he was doing either.

After a spanking session with a partner, my bottom is normally back to my normal pale white by the time we’ve finished, showered, and cleaned up. The only reason I’ve ever seen a cover of redness is if my partner takes a picture during the session. I fade quickly for whatever reason.

This time was different. A few hours later, my partner and I were watching a movie together on the couch. My bottom was really stinging in a very painful way. I couldn’t understand why there was so much burning and stinging. I finally had my partner look, and in a pleased voice, he let me know that I had a bunch of red welts and bruises. He took a picture to show me the damage. I was not happy about it though he obviously was.

Twenty-four hours later, he took another picture for me because I was still sore. The welts and redness were still quite visible though they were beginning to fade. I was very emotionally uncomfortable with what had resulted, but I knew that this was part of playing with a newbie. I made it clear to him that I didn’t ever want to play that hard again, and since I couldn’t see what was happening or tell the difference in how it felt, I was going to be depending on him to stop the playing or shift to less damaging implements when my body was starting to mark. He agreed. He hadn’t intentionally marked me, but he also wasn’t upset that it had happened.

However, I was upset. Deeply upset. I couldn’t figure out why. It took me a few more days to realize why the whole event was so disturbing to me. It turns out it had nothing to do with kink or my current partner.

(to be continued)

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