What Is Kinky Anyway?

One of the things I find interesting is how different people define “kinky.” I think the most common definition of kinky is “whatever those weird people are doing over there—but nothing I would do in my own bedroom.” I also think that in the minds of most people, they define kinky as whips and chains, blood and bruises, sadism and masochism. They don’t think of simpler things, like a pair of toy handcuffs or silk scarves, as kinky. Yet in reality, simple common sexual acts and toys can be quite kinky.

When I was on OkCupid, there were several kink related questions. One asked if the respondent was into BDSM. Almost all guys answered no. Yet when the men got to the question about whether they’d rather be tied up or do the tying, almost all had an answer that wasn’t “no way!” Somehow most men missed out that the B in BDSM stands for “bondage,” and tying a partner up or being tied up is bondage. If the men like tying up a partner or being tied up, they are kinky. They like bondage.

Most people would vehemently protest that idea, though. Most want to believe that their sex lives are “normal.” Yet normal really is just a setting on the dryer. Most people like to do sexual things that if one were to stand back and look at them from an objective point of view, those things are really kind of weird. Most men adore receiving blowjobs, but if you look at them objectively, a blowjob is someone putting their mouth on the part of anatomy where urine is released. Really? Why would anyone want to do that or have it done? Clearly, there’s more to sex than just the logical perspective.

So what is kinky? That’s a really tough question. To me, kinky is being open to things beyond vaginal and oral sex, both of which are considered very mainstream. Kinky includes bondage. Kinky includes anal sex and anal play. Kinky includes all kinds of sex toys beyond vibrators. Kinky might include role playing. For others, being kinky includes sex with more than one partner. And yes, it might include sadism, masochism, spanking, whips, chains, blood, bruises, suspensions, public play, choking, latex, other non-sexual bodily fluids and much, much more. Kinky is a huge range of sexual possibility.

Getting on Fetlife.com is one of the great ways to expand one’s mind about what kinky is. Humans have a huge range of sexual behavior, and learning what others like can help one define what kinky is in one’s own sex life. One can quickly figure out that kinky sex is way more common than one actually thinks it is. What goes on in privacy in our bedrooms is really quite fascinating.

©2017 WoodLeatherLace.com

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