Month: April 2017

Online Dating Bloopers 10

Another set of inane messages from clueless men in the dating world. This is from across several weeks as I turned off my dating apps for a while. I also deleted two of my dating accounts because I was tired of receiving messages from men who were nothing like what I was looking for on those particular sites. Thus, the number of messages has dropped significantly.

For those who are not familiar, I only have pictures of my feet and legs on dating sites, not my face. I’m also located in Texas.

Just in case anyone wonders or worries, I change names of men who don’t have common names like Joe or John. If someone named Voltron messaged me, I would alter his name to Victor.

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“You must get a lot of attention, don’t you?” He’s from NYC. This feels like a creative but generic phrase to get women’s attention!

“Hi I’m Alex, how are you doing today? you look good and i’d love to know you. xo” He’s from Louisiana. I’m not sure what looks so good about my legs. I’m also not into hugs and kisses from a man whom I’m “meeting” online. We’re not a match, either.

“Hi, how are you? If you are willing to trust in a person when all others tell you to go against it, if you are willing to risk getting your heart broken because you believe in that other person, Then that is true love..How I wish to get close to you and know you better.. I will like to hear from you as soon as possible” He’s from New York, and this is really utter nonsense as far as an introductory message goes.

“I would like to ask you a question it might sound stupid but I would love to hear your answer, if you get to choose between love and money what you would you choose?” He’s a bit under my target age range, and he’s in New York. This is also an intelligent generic spam message. He does get credit for being more creative than most men, though!

“Why don’t you have a face pic?” This guy was local but not a match, so I sent him my goblin kingdom response and hit the block button.

“Hello
How are you doing today?
I like your profile,
You are very attractive !
Sam”  This same guy has spammed me from another account. He claims to both be a doctor for Doctors without Borders and a caregiver for someone with a disability. I’m guessing only one of those is true, if that.

“Hey there. Saw ur profile.
I’m in town on business all of next week.
Would love to chat. Maybe grab a drink if we click.
Let me know if your interested
Hope to hear from you
Cheers!” Clearly he didn’t read my profile. I’m not looking for hookups with out of town guys (in this case, Chicago). I also have a thing about being attracted to men who know how to use your and you’re properly. “Ur” is not a word!

“Hi. Did you flag my pic? Lol” First of all, lol is not a punctuation mark or the way to end any sentence. Second, yes, I did flag your picture. You are not the San Antonio Spurs. I’m certain of it.

©2017 WoodLeatherLace.com

Disappeared Stories

Yesterday I removed five ageplay stories from my archives. It was a decision that I took several months to make, but ultimately I felt I couldn’t leave them up even though I loved them and had put a lot of work into them.

The man I wrote those stories for is someone I only dated for a short period of time. Since our breakup, I’ve become more aware of his predilections, things I didn’t want to see while we were dating. I’m someone who is very open-minded about accepting everyone’s kinks and fetishes as long as all involved can give consent. Some of this man’s desires violate consent of others.

Because of that, I’ve removed the stories I wrote for him. I don’t in any way want to contribute to his or others’ similar fetishes and desires which involve non-consent.

©2017 WoodLeatherLace.com

On Bisexuality

Our experiences in life often seem to come in waves with similar themes. For me, the most recent theme in my online dating experiences have revolved around men who are bisexual but unable to admit it.

I’m heterosexual. I am still looking for a gay bone in my body. I would love to be bisexual or pansexual so that I could widen my dating pool, but I’ve never felt a sexual attraction to someone who isn’t a heterosexual masculine cisman. However, I’d bet that 75+% of my female friends are bisexual. Most are not afraid to admit it. They range in how bisexual they are from being attracted to other women but never having acted on it to actually having had sexual relationships with other women. In the liberal parts of our society, female bisexuality is seen as an acceptable thing; however, I also recognize that bisexual women are often seen as “confused” by parts of our society and are left out of the queer community in other parts. I think the common male fantasy of having a threesome with two women helps fuels this acceptance of bisexuality among women.

Male bisexuality doesn’t receive that same acceptance in our greatly confused culture. Men are supposed to be manly men who desire women. Women are supposed to have low sex drives, and they aren’t supposed to have threesome fantasies involving two men. Threesome fantasies are reserved for horny men, and they are supposed to be made up of two women and a man. Despite these incorrect ideas, male bisexuality is a reality. I have no idea how common it is, though I suspect far more men are bisexual than will admit.

In my first encounter online recently, I was approached by a man who considers himself to be straight and in terms of kink identifies as a switch. We began talking about common fetishes, and eventually he started sharing one of his recent sexual experiences with me in which he was the submissive. The experience was one that involved two major fetishes of his that are actually turn-offs for me, but that didn’t stop him from sharing the experience with me. He really wasn’t interested in turning me on; he just wanted to get himself off by telling me about what turns him on. It’s the kind of thing that is a red flag that he would probably not be a great lover.

The more this guy talked about his recent experience, I was able to discern that it was a man he had been with, not a woman. I began probing for more information, and it turned out that 25% of his sexual experiences had been with men! At that point, I don’t think one can truly identify as straight. However, since the sexual experiences “only” involved hand jobs and blowjobs with no anal penetration, the man I was messaging didn’t consider them to be “real” sexual experiences with men. By lying to himself in this way, he could continue his delusion that he was straight rather than facing up to his own sexual desires.

This wasn’t the first guy I’d encountered who was lying to himself about being straight. A few years ago, I messaged with a man who wanted to talk with me about a sexual experience he’d had. The threesome consisted of his ex-girlfriend, her current boyfriend, and him. This guy was particularly turned on by the fact that the other man was of a different race than he was. As he told me the story, he insisted he was straight, but given that this was the sexual experience of his that he chose to relate in great detail while messaging with me, I wasn’t necessarily convinced.

Another guy I ran into recently on the internet was at least able to label himself bi-curious. However, I think he had long since passed the bi-curious phase. He’d had many casual sex experiences with men. Like the other men I’d messaged with previously, he just wanted to tell me about his last sexual experience with another man in which he served as the bottom. Given that I’m a sub looking for a Dom, it wasn’t a story that would really turn me on so this man wasn’t thinking about his audience. Again, this was a red flag for me that this wasn’t really a guy I would be interested in having a relationship with.

Eventually this man opened up and said that he was looking for a long term relationship with a woman but he also wanted to have a friends with benefits relationship with a man who “really got him.” To me, that very clearly said that this man was preferring homosexual encounters but was too afraid to admit that to the rest of the world. He wanted to have a woman on his arm to “prove” that he was straight while having a male lover in secret. Furthermore, he wasn’t clear on the fact that I’m monogamous seeking a long term relationship that might lead to marriage, and I didn’t want to be his beard.

I don’t have a problem with bisexuality. I’d happily date a bisexual man who was willing to be monogamous with a woman. I wouldn’t mind watching gay porn with him. However, I don’t want to be with a man who can’t admit his own sexuality to himself nonetheless to me. It’s important to me that my partner know whom he is or be actively working on discovering his sexual identity. Denial is not part of that equation.

©2017 WoodLeatherLace.com