Online Dating Bloopers Part 2

Another week, another series of inane messages from clueless men around the globe. This week’s offerings provided more foreign offerings than usual. I’m in Texas for those not familiar. All typos and errors are courtesy of the original authors.

Hi, how are you doing? I found your profile attractive and I would like to learn more about you. Thanks James [He’s in Arkansas. Why waste my time or his?]

HI – May I ask – would you ever date a guy who was curious about the cuckolding lifestyle? [He’s in North Carolina. Seriously, how would we date? And I am MONOGAMOUS. Why do guys not get what that means?]

I’m JOHN REDACTED i’m here to date a woman that will make me happy till the end of life you can kindly reach me on my number …. 936REDACTED [This guy claims to be in NY but has a Texas area code that puts him 225 miles away from me. Can we say SPAM boys and girls?]

Hello [This is from a guy who is in my age range, in my area, but is a 34% match with good reasons. He’s also obviously not much of a conversationalist.]

Hi beautiful, how you doing? I’d like to know you better [He lives over an hour away and is a terrible match.]

Hello how are you? hope to get to know you if you don’t mind write back to me…… [He’s in Egypt. I don’t have a passport. This could be a problem.]

Hello to you ,
first of all,
i could not see your photos…
my mail and skype are
REDACTED@gmail.com
skype = REDACTED
awaiting your reply,
thank you very much and
best wishes to you and
your family.  [From Tokyo. Again, I’m lacking in a passport.]

Hi good evening! how are you? [This was sent at 8:31 pm. He sent me the next message at 8:42 pm.] Hi what do I have to do to get your attention? [Perhaps fill out his blank profile?]

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to get to know you. I believe we are both here for a reason to this dating scene, Anyway where there is a will there is a way. I just signed on this site a days ago and i have never make use of it until i discover your profile and to be sincere it caught all my attention. I’m in search of my Soul & Dream Mate, Lover and Life Companion. James [This is what is called “scammer grammar.” It’s clearly a fake profile.]

Hey, how’s your night going ?? [He’s 13 years under my limit]

Yankee? I’m from MA. Where you from? [He believes homosexuality is a sin but says he doesn’t judge. End of discussion.]

Hello… how you doing? [What do guys have against the verb “to be”? How ARE you doing? Where ARE you from?]

Hey, how are you? [He’s 14 years below my limit.]

I saw only your legs [Well, good, because that’s all that is in my picture! Plus he’s in Algeria.]

I’m JOHN REDACTED i’m here to date a woman that will make me happy till the end of life you can kindly reach me on my number …. 914REDACTED [Yes, seven days later I’ve received the exact same spam with a different phone number!]

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